Of old pains and new attractions
by BaconAndOnion
Summary: Jane and Maura are colleagues and their friendship is beginning, but for Jane it's already so much more. Will she be able to woo the doctor before she falls into friendzone, all the while battling her own inner demons?
1. Chapter 1

Rubbing her hands nervously, Jane traced the scars with her fingertips as the elevator descended to the morgue. Chiming of the bell announced the opening of the door, it was time to get off. She forced her feet to move, forced herself to go forward and straight to the autopsy room.

And there she was, wearing her black scrubs, her lovely honey colored hair tied back, and face protected by a shield. A small wrinkle between her eyebrows showed her focus. Jane could swear then and there that she has never witnessed such beauty as chief Medical Examiner Maura Isles opened a man's scull with a saw.

"Hey, doc," she croaked out in her hoarse voice. A few droplets of blood hit the face shield. Then Maura raised her head and looked right at her.

"Detective, I'm glad you could join me."

And Jane was glad, too. Despite her previous nervousness, the ME's presence somehow held a calming effect, which was kind of ridiculous, because she was the source of the nerves in the first place. For a while now, Jane realized that she's in trouble. She found Dr. Isles interesting, endearing and utterly gorgeous.

"Nothing better than a Sunday in the morgue."

Maura's face brightened in a smile. "That is just what I said when I received a call from the hospital."

Of course, she did.

* * *

Two days later, when Jane, Frost and Korsak locked up the scumbag who managed to dress up as a doctor, sneak into the hospital and finish off his victim using a rare neurotoxin, everyone was exhausted.

Jane decided to go to the morgue and thank the doc for her hard work. As she stood there and listened to a litany of nonsensical Latin words, she decided that today was the day. She's going to ask her out.

"… and that is what made me take a closer look at the victim's stomach content, besides it being my personal favorite part."

"Speaking of stomachs, would you like to have a dinner with me tonight?" Jane almost winced as her own words reached her ears. 'Great job, detective!' She scolded herself.

The doctor seemed truly surprised. "A dinner?"

"I mean only if you don't have any plans or anything. I don't want to presume…"

"Sounds lovely!"

"Great."

* * *

They were sitting at Joe's, conversing about the case, Jane's eyes occasionally roaming around Maura's features, when Maura asked her an odd question.

"Do they still hurt?"

"What?"

Maura looked at Jane's hands. She didn't even realize that she was rubbing her scars again.

"Sometimes. Not right now."

"Yes, scars tend to hurt during changes in atmospheric pressure. Today however the weather was quite stable."

Jane suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. "It's kind of late. And I'm drained after this case. Maybe I should head home."

"Oh." Was all she got for an answer from suddenly crestfallen doctor.

This was a stupid idea in the first place. She left some money on the table, muttered a goodbye and left.

She woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and crying. She hugged her legs and rubbed her scars for comfort, crying until she fell asleep again.

* * *

Next time she saw Maura it was in the ME's office. She gave her a file and briefly discussed the new case. Suddenly, Maura said "Anthropophobia."

Jane looked at her quizzically. "Expelliarmus...?"

"What? No, I have anthropophobia. Social anxiety." Maura went around her table and stood in front of Jane. "The other day when you took me to that dingy yet very lovely cop bar I was overjoyed, but at the same time I was terrified that I'll do what I always do. I have a hard time maintaining normal interhuman relationships because I don't understand people. At least not the living ones. And so please, if I stepped over the line talking about your scars know that I'm sorry. Truly." Jane was unwittingly rubbing her hands again. Maura continued. "I enjoyed talking to you. And I would like to make it up to you. Why don't you come to my house tonight? I'll make you dinner."

Jane found herself agreeing to Maura's offer. Social anxiety. That sure explains a lot of the doc's quirkiness.

* * *

Jane couldn't help but stare at Maura, who stood at an open door in a dress covered by an apron. Some of her hair tied on the back of her head, to prevent it from falling to her face. She looked like a domestic goddess or something. "Detective, is everything alright?" Maura asked after her greetings and welcomes went without an answer.

"You look stunning." Was all Jane could manage.

"Oh, thank you. The apron is new. Now come on in, the food will be ready soon."

Jane entered the beautiful home for the first time. Everything screamed rich yet tasteful.

"Can I offer you some wine? Although I took the liberty of buying a few beers if that's what you'd prefer."

"Wine sounds great, thanks."

A few minutes later they were sitting at a table, having the first bite.

"Out of the two of us, shouldn't I be an expert on Italian cuisine? How come your ravioli is this good?"

"I'm glad you like it. My mother put an emphasis on making sure I'm a capable hostess when she was raising me."

"Oh yeah? My ma' tried that too. She was driving me nuts. I moved out as soon as I could. Right when I started the academy."

"I think I know what you mean. I went to an all-girl boarding school when I was ten."

Jane's wine went down the wrong way. She coughed like crazy to catch her breath again.

"Are you all right?"

"Never better. You said an all-girl boarding school? How was it?" Jane's fantasy was going rampant.

"It was great in regards of my education. It didn't really help with my social anxiety."

Jane got her mind out of the gutter. "Sorry to hear that."

* * *

In her past Jane didn't really have a lot of female friends. Therefore, she felt rather odd sitting on Maura's couch, discussing men of all things.

"I think that detective really likes you."

"Please. He's annoying the hell outta me."

"Classical sign of courtship."

"Well I don't like him, so…"

"Who do you like, then?"

'This friendship might be good for the both of us. I shouldn't tell her. But it's so childish not to. Oh, I don't know.' Jane was trying to make up her mind. In the end she decided not to disclose her affection at that moment. Instead she not so subtly changed the subject.

* * *

Finally, it was time to say goodnight. Maura walked Jane to the door. "Thanks for having me, I had an amazing time."

Maura's face lit up upon hearing those words. "I enjoyed this evening as well, detective. Perhaps we could do something like this again in the future?"

"On one condition," Jane smiled, "You have to call me Jane from now on."

"Well if I have to."

"Yes, you do."

"Alright. Jane it is. And you can call me Maura." She said, extending a hand.

Jane took it in a firm handshake. She did not let go, however. Instead she leaned forward and gave the doctor a gentle peck on her lips. They were so soft, she wanted more, but she restrained herself and backed away, finally letting go of the hand. Maura blinked in surprise. It was clear she did not expect that. "Goodnight, Maura," Jane said and left.

"Night, Jane." She could hear behind her.

That's right, doctor Isles. I'm not letting you friendzone me that easily.


	2. Chapter 2

Detective Frost heaved once again into a trash can. Korsak just laughed. "What is it Frost? Something wrong with your lunch?"

Frost just gave him a pointed look, deciding not to answer. When he finally stopped being sick, he wiped his mouth and brought up something he wanted to mention earlier, before he got too close to the corpse, that is.

"Hey, Korsak, have you noticed anything different about Jane today? I can't quite put a finger on it."

They chanced a glance at said detective. She was working on the crime scene, pointing out evidence to the photographer. Frost was trying his best not to even look at the rotting old body.

"Everything looks normal to me," Korsak said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Really, detective? And how many times have you heard Jane whistle?"

"You know what, you are right," he looked at his colleague in thought. "I haven't heard her whistle or sing to herself ever since… you know… the surgeon case."

"I thought as much. Let's go find out what's up."

"Alright," Korsak agreed.

Frost stopped him just after one step. "But discreetly, ok?"

"Of course. Discreetly. Hey, Jane! What's got you in such a good mood?" Vince yelled across the entire crime scene.

"Oh, god." Frost rolled his eyes. "Really?" Korsak ignored him, instead he focused his attention on his old partner, as she raised her eyes from a muddy footprint and looked at him.

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Weren't you whistling just now?"

"Yeah, maybe I was. So what? Can't a woman whistle for god's sake?" She was getting defensive.

"Come on, don't hold back on us. Tell us all about it."

"Can you spell: none of your damn business?" Jane asked half seriously.

Frost said "Ha ha, very funny, Jane. Oh, hello doctor Isles." On her ever-present high heels, chief medical examiner doctor Isles entered the crime scene. Jane immediately looked back down on the footprint.

"Good morning, detective Frost. Detective Korsak. Jane." Vince nodded his head in greeting, while Jane whispered in her hoarse voice "Good morning, Maura." Frost's eyes glided from one to another, but he didn't comment. Instead he said "Back to the topic. I think we should go to Joe's tonight. Give us a fair chance to loosen your tongue, Jane."

"You know what? It doesn't sound that bad. The lab techs will probably take forever with this guy. Or what's left of him, anyways," she said while glancing at the cadaver. "I guess I can go for a beer. How about you, Maura? Do you wanna go to Joe's tonight?"

Jane was speaking in perfectly friendly manner. Just a colleague inviting another colleague to go for a drink. Maura looked into her eyes. She hesitated a second longer with her answer. 'Maybe I shouldn't kiss her. It was probably way too early.' Jane couldn't help but doubt her earlier actions.

Korsak saved the silence from prolonging. "Yeah, that's a great idea. How about it, doc? Will you hang out with a bunch of old detectives tonight?"

"Speak for yourself, old man. Jane and I are in our prime."

Maura didn't break eye contact with Jane. In the end she gave her a reassuring smile. "Alright. I'll be happy to join you."

Jane realized that she's smiling at her, not saying or doing anything. And so, she cleared her throat and went on to do her job.

* * *

They were sitting at Joe's at a table for four. Maura sitting next to Jane. As it was, they were talking about their current case. It took a while for Korsak to remember their initial task of getting some gossip out of Jane.

"So, now will you tell us, Jane? What got you whistling this morning?"

After a few drinks, Barry's good manners were almost forgotten. "Yeah, what put you in such a good mood? Did you get some recently?"

"Oh, come on, Frost! What made you think of that as a first option?!"

Maura didn't speak much that night, however she picked this moment to chime in. "Actually, Jane, detective Frost's hypothesis holds a lot of potential as orgasms are proven to bring many health benefits as well as bettering one's mood."

Korsak was stunned to silence and Jane felt her face getting hot. Frost, however, in his inebriated state, latched onto the thought. "See, here you have it straight from the doctor. So, who is that special gentleman of yours?"

Jane shared a brief look with her old partner, suppressing the need to rub her palms.

"Maybe I just had a good night sleep."

And she was speaking the truth. The fact that she finally plucked the courage and talked to Maura outside of work and even got to a first name basis with her made her so happy that for the first time in ages she had no nightmares. She still didn't dare to hope, but just took it as a sign that she has made a move in the right direction.

"Yeah, I like me some good night sleep after a wild night. Now, really. Is it some guy at the office? Come on!"

Maura looked at her with curious eyes. In their encounters they have yet to discuss sexual orientation and the ME looked like she had trouble figuring Jane out.

Jane decided that after the dive in after the dinner she should perhaps slow down a bit and have a proper conversation. Maura seemed to enjoy the kiss, but with her social awkwardness she maybe took it as something completely else than what Jane meant. The clearing of the air was due. But not right now. Maybe later or some other time, but without Frost and Korsak present.

She was so lost in thought she forgot to answer. Luckily, Korsak saved her once again. "Beat it, Frost. Are _you_ calling _me _the nosy one? Seriously?"

"Alright, alright. I'm just saying that it's nice to see our broody detective smile for a change, that's all. Keep it up. You go, girl."

"Oh, Frost. You're such a light weight. You sound like you drank a whole keg."

They had a nice evening in the pub, drinking and having fun. Afterwards, Jane and Maura found themselves standing at the sidewalk, waiting for a cab, neither of them being a fan of driving under influence.

"Oh, god. I haven't done anything like this in a long time," Maura admitted. "In a few hours I expect the results to be ready. I have to get some sleep."

"How far it is to your place?" Jane asked.

"About half an hour by car, it depends on the traffic."

"My apartment is closer, if you want to crash." After a while of silence, she added jokingly. "Don't worry, I won't try anything inappropriate."

Maura's voice was tinged with sadness as she said "It's just… I've never had a sleepover before."

"Ever?"

"No, never. I heard some other girls at my boarding school had sleepovers of sorts from time to time, but no one ever invited me."

Jane focused on the woman in front of her instead of her ideas of what adventures might have happened on an all-girl school dormitory. "Well, now you have been invited. Either we'll get some sleep so we are useful tomorrow, or we can just pull an all-nighter and save it with coffee. So, what do you say?"

Maura looked genuinely sorry, when she answered. "As much as I would love to, I have to get home. Bass, my tortoise, just got back from his vet and I need to make sure he's eating properly."

The detective tried to say something nice. "Hey, it's alright. There's plenty more nights in the future. Consider this an open invitation for a proper sleepover. Everyone should experience it, you are no exception!"

"Thank you, Jane," she said, smiling.

The taxi rolled to the sidewalk.

"See you in the morning. Have a good night, Jane." And with that, and to the complete surprise of the detective, Maura leaned in and gently kissed Jane on the lips.

All she could manage as an answer was "Good night." Her mind was running twenty miles an hour. 'Does she realize that I'm into her? Does she understand I like women? Does she even see the kiss in anything more than a friendly gesture? She said she didn't really have any friends… What if she now thinks this is normal and before she knows it she kisses half the department?!' She started the walk toward her apartment, trying to calm her thoughts, her fingertips running over her palms again. There was way too much on her mind. No way this night will be good.

'That talk is really overdue!' she thought, and she promised herself to try and talk to Maura about things before this case is closed.

As she lay in her bed, alone in the darkness, she fantasized, that Maura knew exactly what she was doing when she kissed her goodbye, tonight. She let these thoughts calm her and help her fall asleep, help her ignore that voice. The surgeon's voice, whispering to her ear that she is his and his alone.

* * *

**Note**: Thank you very much for the reviews. They really help me to write on. Also, I apologize for the big delay, I was in the wilderness. Anyway, I made it through and I'm back for some Rizzles. Soon again, BaconAndOnion.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane and Korsak were driving back from visiting a potential witness, while frost was at the BRIC working his computer magic.

"Hey, Korsak?" Jane suddenly broke the comfortable silence.

"What is it, Jane?" He asked, eyes on the road.

"Thanks, about yesterday. That save at Joe's when Frost was nosy."

"You're welcome. But you can tell him, you know. It's not dark ages anymore and he's your new partner. You can trust him enough."

"I know. I do trust him. And practically everyone around here knows it, anyway."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Yesterday just didn't feel like a coming-out-to-my-new-partner sort of day."

"Really? Your new partner? Or was it the beautiful doctor you didn't feel like coming out to?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Come on. I'm a detective, too, you know. And I'm not blind. You like her."

After a moment Jane admitted "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"So, what's the problem? That's a good thing."

"I know. And I think she might like me too, but…"

"But what? This is great. I don't think you had a girl since" Korsak abruptly stopped talking.

"That's right. No need to tiptoe around it. I haven't been with anyone ever since Hoyt pinned me to the ground in a basement and was about to make me into his voodoo doll."

Jane looked to the side and rubbed her hands. Korsak gently put a hand on hers, eyes still focused on the road.

She flinched out of shock but didn't move. After a while it felt nice, comforting.

"Hey, you don't have to hurry with any of this. Take as much time as you need. And if you ever need to talk, I'm right here."

"Thanks, Korsak."

* * *

Jane needed to vent her frustration and so she went to the gym. She was hitting the bag repeatedly, sweat rolling down her body. This helped with the ever-present feeling of helplessness that overcame her every time she remembered the weight of _his_ body on hers. It was mere minutes before being raped and murdered when Korsak saved her. She didn't share with him the details of the horror she went through down there. Neither did she share that with anyone else.

Bam. Bam. She kept hitting the bag.

After she completely exhausted herself, she went to shower. She then headed to her locker with a towel wrapped around her body. And wouldn't you know it, Maura was there. She wore tight leggings and a top that was nothing more than a sports bra. She also wore sweatbands around her wrists and on her head, looking cute as ever.

"Wow, look at you. This outfit isn't very doctor Isles of you."

The doc turned around and noticed her for the first time. And then she gulped. "Detective…"

Jane suppressed her smirk and walked up closer to Maura. "Back to the detective, are we? I told you, you can call me Jane. Do you remember that?"

Maura's cheeks flushed a pretty pink. She nodded, still staring at Jane.

"Jane, I've been meaning to talk to you about a few things. But perhaps when you're not wearing a towel."

"Should I take it off?" Jane suggestively pulled at a corner of her towel. Maura's eyes went wide. 'God, messing with Maura is so much fun,' she thought. Out loud she just said "Relax, I'm joking."

"Oh, right. A joke." Jane thought she could hear a small hint of disappointment in her voice.

"I'm all for that talk, by the way. I've actually been meaning to talk to you, too."

"Truly? That's great. Do you have time later today?"

"Sure, I'll come by your office. Say around five?"

"Lovely. See you then."

Jane noticed that Maura's eyes slid around her figure right before she turned to leave. She smiled to herself. 'Yeah, this will be just fine.'

* * *

She stared into a mirror in the bathroom, trying to fix herself up before heading to see Maura. There wasn't much she could do. Fixing her unruly hair was practically impossible. She wore her usual work clothes, nothing that would impress Maura. Oh, well. Maybe she should just change back into a towel, that seemed to work in her favor.

'Alright, Rizzoli. You can do this.'

A few minutes later she knocked on the door and stepped in.

"Hey."

"Hi." Maura looked up from her computer, smiling at Jane. "Please, have a seat," Maura gestured to the sofa.

"It's ok if you need to finish something up. I can wait."

"No, this is nothing," Maura left her computer and went to join the detective. "I was just doing a little shopping." She sat down on the sofa comfortably close to Jane.

"Oh, really? What were you buying?"

"Shoes," Maura answered simply. "One can never have enough shoes."

Jane chuckled, slowly shaking her head. "You are adorable," she bravely voiced her thoughts.

Maura looked into Jane's eyes. They did that a lot when talking to each other, the deep staring. But this time was different. The silence stretched longer, and Jane couldn't stand it and so she started talking. "I want to make sure that I'm perfectly clear when I say this, Maura. I like you. A lot. More than just a colleague or a friend. And I can't stop thinking about you."

There. She said it. Cards on the table.

Maura shakily answered. "I have no experience with anything like this. I've never been romantically involved with a woman."

"I know. I figured as much." She broke the eye contact, looking at her fidgeting hands. Her heart beating so hard it could jump out of her chest. "Did you know that I used to play piano?" Jane said out of nowhere.

"Oh, Jane." Maura's eyes were full of sympathy for the detective.

"Yeah. I wasn't half bad, actually." There was a moment of silence, after which she added in a quiet hoarse voice "I used to love it."

Maura's hand was trembling when she reached out for Jane. She held her hand palm up in an invitation. "May I?"

Jane swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly put one of her hands on the waiting palm. She watched Maura's every move as the doc gently started to massage her scarred palm. Maura then started talking.

"Ever since I've known you, I was hoping for a friendship. I don't really know why, I just felt at ease with you. My anxiety wasn't so bad when it was the two of us. As you may have noticed, I enjoy talking to you. And although I find your humor confusing at times, I must admit you help me get out of my shell, in many ways. When you kissed me, I was truly surprised. I had no idea you were interested in me. Or women in general. Although I don't want to presume…"

"No, it's fine. I'm.. I'm gay." Somehow even after years of saying it, she found it hard this time around. Maura nodded and hummed to herself. Her fingers now caressing the palm with gentle touches.

"I am not a lesbian," Maura stated, looking at their hands. "I wanted to talk to you and tell you just that. Then we had that wonderful evening at Joe's and you offered me a sleepover and I found myself wanting nothing more than to kiss you." She chanced a glance at Jane, who was listening closely. "I can't explain this. I just don't know what came over me. And to be honest, this odd desire has yet to subdue."

After admitting this, she started to lower her head to Jane's palm, very slowly to give her time to prepare herself or stop her. When she was just an inch away, she opened her lips, letting her hot breath roll over the skin of Jane's palm. The room was so quiet, all Jane could hear was her own frantic heart as she watched Maura's mouth. It was clear that the doctor was also nervous. Finally, the lips touched the scar tissue.

Jane released a small choked moan. Her eyes were welling up with tears. It felt so good, so right, so comforting.

Maura braved herself and looked straight at Jane. "I want this," and without breaking eye contact she ran the tip of her tongue over the scar. "I want you."

Another surprised moan escaped Jane's lips. Maura's beautiful face, framed by that lovely honey hair, those eyes piercing her soul and that tongue darting out and flicking over her scar. It was almost too much. Maura was encouraged by the reaction and ran the tip of her tongue over the scar again. Jane whimpered, her body was heating up.

"Maura…" she whispered.

The tongue flicked again, and she could feel her nipples strain. The doctor was loving her palm with her mouth and all she could do was stare and breathe, occasional moan escaping her lips. This was somehow becoming the most erotic experience of her life.

Another flick. Her core clenched. She couldn't stand it anymore, she had to touch the blonde. With her other hand Jane pushed Maura's hair aside and buried her face in the crook of her neck, peppering kisses all over. Maura released a pleased groan into her palm.

After she gently nipped Maura's neck, her face was suddenly held and before she knew it, they were sharing a passionate kiss. Tongues ventured out to finally meet each other. She felt so good, tasted like a slice of heaven and she kissed even better than in Jane's fantasies.

She was grabbing Maura's shoulders at first and then she let her hands roam all around her back. Maura just kept holding her face and kissing her.

Without warning Jane teasingly ran her fingers over Maura's breasts and then put them right back on her back. Maura moaned into her mouth. She kicked down her heels and straddled Jane's lap, the skirt of her dress hiking way up her thighs. They were rocking against each other. When they finally stopped kissing to catch breath, Jane pressed Maura close to her in a tight hug. They sat there like that for a while, holding each other. Then Maura was about to say something when both of their phones started to ring. The doc startled and jumped off her lap. But then she realized it's just a phone.

Jane fished up the device from her pocket. "Rizzoli."

"Isles," she heard Maura say.

"I'm on my way."

"I'll be there as soon as possible."

Afterwards there was silence. And then Maura chuckled. And then laughed. And soon they were both sharing a full-belied laugh.

The blonde shook her head. "This is so…"

"Yeah, I know," she smiled at her. "Come on, Maur. We have a case to crack and a scumbag to catch."

They walked out of Maura's office hand in hand.


End file.
